___________{Chapter 3}____________
“One’s outlook in life is paramount to one’s success.”
- HCJ
S |
oon after my grandfather’s death and the end of my fourth grade school
year, we returned to New York City. Once again, the economic condition in Puerto
Rico had proved to be unfavorable for my parents to sustain their family.
Until my parents
could find employment, my brother and I were left behind under the care of my
paternal grandmother, Adriana. A while later our parents sent for us. We arrived
at my Aunt Luz’s apartment, my dad’s younger sister, and would reside in her
home with our parent’s for several weeks.
We shared a
two-bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen, and living room apartment with my aunt, her
husband, and their four young children; my cousins Sandy, Carla, Peter, and
Vicky. Later, they would have a fifth child, Judy. These were cramp living
conditions, but for children, it was a great deal of fun.
Shortly afterward,
my parents found a separate apartment for us in Manhattan’s “seeded,” lower east
side. It was on the ground floor of a six-story building. I recall that it was a
cold and snowy winter when we moved in. At the time, my parents were short of
funds to purchase a refrigerator, so as he was often prone to do, my father
improvised. He built a small wooden platform on the outside ledge of the
kitchen’s window. There, for short periods, we would keep perishable food, like
milk and eggs. As the phrase goes, “Necessity is the mother of invention.”
Since we had very
little money and possessions, we took advantage of any opportunity, like thrown
out old furniture. We would promptly lug such finds back to our apartment. I
cannot make this up, such was our financial condition, although we, that is my
brother and me, never felt deprived. Our parents made sure that we always had a
roof over our heads, plenty to eat, clean clothes, and all the love we wanted.
Economic instability
would prove to be a temporary circumstance for us. Within the year, my parent’s
jobs and income had substantially improved and allowed us to move to a better
apartment. Even though it was small and on the third floor of a six-story
building, it was in a slightly safer neighborhood.
Next, my parents
enrolled my brother and me at “Immaculate Conception,” a Catholic school just
several blocks walking distance from our apartment. There, during our initial
enrollment interview, the sisters in charge deemed both of us deficient in some
manner. We never knew what this was. Albeit, the result was that both of us were
set back a grade.
At the time, I
couldn’t understand that action, although it worked out for the best. From that
moment forth, my brother and I would be intellectually and emotionally ahead of
our classmates.
We still lived in a
questionable part of town and were exposed to things that children should not
have to see or experience. As the incident when my brother and I were walking
home from school and witnessed a woman holding a syringe in one of her hands,
lift her blouse, exposing her abdomen and breast, and inject herself.
Money wise, life was
well enough that my father purchased a used nineteen sixty Chevrolet Impala, and
over the summer would take my mom and us on short weekend drives throughout the
city.
But our parents were
not satisfied. They wanted safer and better living conditions for us. Hence,
once more they chose to pack up our belongings, and move the family across the
Hudson River, to nearby Perth Amboy, New Jersey, some forty minutes south of
Manhattan.
*
* * * *
At this moment, I share with you a philosophical tenet; I have
personally adhered to over the last thirty years. I came across it during a
television news interview of a man who had not only lost his job but also the
weathered house he, his wife and children called home, his aging car, and
remaining material possessions they owned, the aftermath of a hurricane.
I remember the man’s
response to the question posed to him by the reporter interviewing him for the
evening news. To the best of my recollection, the question was something like,
“How do you feel and recover from this horrific event that has now left you
destitute, completely poor?”
His response changed
the way I thought of and looked at life forever. He more or less answered as
follows, “It might seem to many that I have lost all that I’ve got, but this is
just an illusion. As long as I have my children, spouse, family, friends, and
most importantly, God in my life, I will never be poor.”
By the look on the
reporter’s face, I can assure you that neither he expected that answer, nor did
I.
For me, this man’s wisdom and the
ability to discern what matters, would shed light on the dignity and astuteness
of an individual grounded in the bonds of love, loyalty, and affection.
In such a person’s
approach to life, nothing is ever lacking. Today, many covet knowledge and the
unending accumulation of facts with an oblivious disregard for wisdom, arguably
our most important intangible asset.
The lesson I learned on
that day from this stranger was that for most of us, being poor is nothing more
than and can be reduced to a “state of mind.” Maybe I did not choose the
extraneous circumstance life might have dealt me, such as being born
poverty-stricken in a developing nation, growing up in a dysfunctional family or
suffering from some illness. But my response to any situation based on a
spiritual foundation and practice will greatly enhance my ability to cope with
most of life’s predicaments.
As the expression on how
we look at life goes, “Is your glass half empty or half full?” Because of this
stranger’s outlook on life, I have made it a point, regardless of the
contingency, to live life from the optimistic “half-full” point of view.
This is a conscious
choice, which requires me to be aware of and thankful for all of life.
Especially those difficult times, which are fraught with distress, anger, or
pain. For most often, it is within the difficult that the potential for growth
and understanding lies.
If we then
progressively cultivate a disposition based on being grateful for what comes our
way, what we have, and the goodness within and around us, the thoughts of
completeness and abundance begins to pervade who we are. Our innate mind recalls
its inherent nature of the oneness with all. Our inner thoughts and outer
response become more and more congruent. We start living from our authentic
self. Life becomes easier as our truth and wisdom shine through.
* * * *
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Jr.
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